


Tingles Don't Equal Love

by FiercelyLittle



Category: Santa Clarita Diet (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 09:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiercelyLittle/pseuds/FiercelyLittle
Summary: Did Abby Hammond love Eric Bemis?"I thought we could try to find out."





	Tingles Don't Equal Love

**Author's Note:**

> This one got away from me a little bit...

Did Abby Hammond love Eric Bemis?

_I thought we could try to find out..._

She _liked_ how warm his arm around her was and definitely felt something _tingly_ regarding his lips resting on the back of her neck. But tingles don't equal love.

Abby had meant it when she said she wanted to see what this thing between them was - how could she not? Eric was her best friend and she adored the little nerd; he was kind and crazy supportive of her and her homicidal parents. Eric Bemis was also considerably _hot_. It hadn't really mattered to her before she dragged him into her undead home life but despite the circumstances, she had come to appreciate that her creeper next door neighbour was actually kind of ripped. Plus, she liked his lips. _A lot._ In a _tingly_ way.

So maybe Winter and the cleaning lady were right. Maybe Abby loved Eric as more than just her best friend and more than as her literal partner in crime. Suppose she wanted to rip those graphic t-shirts right from off his skinny toned body. That was okay too, right?

Eric seemed to think so. He was still snoozing away behind Abby. One arm curled underneath his own head and the other draped around Abby's waist, hips and lips grazing her every time he breathed a bit too deeply in his sleep. Which was often and usually accompanied by dreamy mumbling that both irked and warmed her as much as his breath on her neck did.

It wasn't crazy for them to get together - there was a 3% chance after all - Abby was just scared something would happen. He could realise he didn't like her romantically, she could almost get him killed again or actually get him killed in a permanent way. Any number of things could happen and that was why she was giving them a chance. Abby figured if her mom could eat kneecaps like potato chips, she could have a boyfriend. She tensed when her alarm started blaring next to her face, her arm snapping up to shut it off. Eric mumbled and she sighed before shuffling out from underneath his arm. Abby shuffled towards the door and snapped it shut as quietly as she could behind her.

"Morning, tiger." Abby jumped, snapping her head up. "Good morning, Lisa." Eric's mother stood across from her in a silky number she had thankfully never had to see before, a smirk taking over the bottom half of her face.

"So, did you guys use protection?" Abby squirmed, gripping her shirt and squeezing her eyes shut. _Maybe if she shut her eyes she would wake up in her own house_. "Jesus, Lisa, nothing happened." She forced out, "I just stayed over, I swear." The raised eyebrow she got in response did not comfort her and she was led to the front door with a grimace firmly stuck to her, now very red, face.

Thankfully, her parents were still in their room when she slipped back into her house and Abby got ready for school without any disruption. She wouldn't normally complain about having a peaceful morning but with everything going on (undead mother, murder every weeknight, etc.) she was having a hard time letting her guard down. She was tense. Like she had flattened nearly all the bristles on her toothbrush, _tense._

When her mom found her sitting at the kitchen island, she was gripping her glass of orange juice like it had been talking about her behind her back. "Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?" Her mom swooped down to kiss her forehead.

"Like a baby. You?" Sheila shrugged and went to open the freezer, "Pretty well. Busy day, though, I found the address of that other Nazi guy so your dad and I might be late home tonight, okay?"

Abby shrugged and sipped her juice, "That's cool. I already blended you some leftover thigh - it's in the fridge." Her mom gasped, grabbing the container from the fridge and taking a satisfied slurp, "Thank you, sweetie. _So_ thoughtful - Joel, look! Our daughter made me breakfast!""

"That's nice, honey. Where's mine?" Abby flashed her dad a smirk and grabbed her bag, "Something about blending human flesh made working the new toaster oven seem unimportant." Joel nodded thoughtfully, "Understandable. Just so you know, we won't be home until later tonight; we've got a conference call with-"

"Nazi's are big on real estate? I didn't know that. Thanks, Dad. You're such an educator."

Her dad swung his head around to her mom, blinking indignantly. "Complete honesty, Joel, honey. That's what we said." "My apologies. It's early and I'm still getting used to sharing our murder plans with our teenage daughter." He said, sardonically. "Sorry, Abby. We'll be home late - we're picking up dinner for your Mother." 

"Don't you crazy kids have too much fun without me." Abby pushed herself off from the countertop and ambled towards the door, the sound of her Mom sucking dead guy from a straw echoing after her. "Bye, sweetie! Have a good day at school!"

______

Abby was not having a good day at school.

She had been slapped with an assignment in each of her first two classes and narrowly missed a detention for not paying attention to Mr McCoy in History. She didn't want to validate those teenagers in cheesy horror movies or awful supernatural television shows but honestly? Killing people made school seem like a tragic waste of time. She almost got killed by two zombies the other day. She stabbed one of them in the eye with a kitchen knife. Sue her if the unification of Germany seemed a little redundant. 

"Abby!" She looked away from her locker and met Eric's eyes as he walked down the hallway towards her. "Hey, Eric. What's up?"

His eyebrows drew together, "Nothing much. What's up with you?" Her shoulders threw him a shrug, "Same. McCoy has it out for me but that"s nothing new."

Eric readjusted his grip on his backpack and looked closely at her casual expression, "You know, I'd be asking if last night really happened if not for my Mom handing me a box of condoms over breakfast this morning."

Abby cleared her throat, "No, it definitely happened."

"So... do you want to talk about it?"

"I do." Eric's face brightened at that and she gave him a small pained smile, "Though, I have English right now and you have Trig so...my house? Tonight at 5?" Her friend bounced on his toes and nodded quickly, "Yes!" He cleared his throat and lowered his voice, " _Yes_. I'll see you later? Cool? Cool. I'll see you then."

"Okay, Eric." Abby clapped him on the shoulder and shut her locker. "Go to Trig. If you're late to class Principal Novak will accuse me of corrupting you again."He snorted and called after her as she strode away to Mrs Norris' classroom, "See you later, Abby-gator!"

Abby laughed quietly to herself on the way to English. _Yep,_ she thought _, this is the hill I choose to die on. I'm infatuated with a total nerd._

______ 

Through the peephole, she could see Eric take a deep breath before he rapped on the Hammond's front door. She waited a beat to avoid looking over eager and swung it open. Eric's panicked gaze met Abby's nervous one.

"Hey, Eric! Come on in."

Her friend shuffled awkwardly inside the house and turned to her, as stiff as the corpse her Mom brought home for lunch last week. "Hello, Abby. How are you on this lovely temperate evening?" They were bouncing off each other's discomfort and Abby wasn't any better than him. "I'm swell. Thank you for asking. How are you?"

"I'm great! How are you?" They both winced and Abby cracked first unable to stand the impressively uncomfortable atmosphere they'd managed to create.

"Okay, this is weird. Let's sit down."

Both all but ran to the couch and sat angled towards each other, not too close, both of them sitting completely upright and with their shoulders up to their ears with tension.

"Did you mean it when you-" "About what I-"

They both started and stopped together, laughing it off and Eric gesturing for her to speak with a flourish (that he instantly regretted judging by the pained grimace that followed)

"After you."

"No, after you!"

"Alright," He said, swallowing thickly, "I guess I just wanted to know whether you meant it when you said you wanted to find out what _this_ was between us.” 

"I did. Mean it, I mean." Abby stuttered, her eyes shooting up to the ceiling as she tried to prepare. Not that she expected that to work. She'd had hours to go over what she wanted to say to him and all that accomplished was making her hate the sound of her own voice. "What I mean to say is that I would like to _explore_ the feelings that I have d-developed regarding, um, well...you. Eric."

“Y-you have legitimate feelings for me?" His eyebrows were incredibly high on his forehead, pinched together in amazement before they dropped with poorly hidden concern, "Just to be clear, these are romantic feelings? Not that there's anything wrong with platonic feelings - I just believe in clarity of communication, first and foremost, of course, especially in sensitive matters like these and-"

"Yes, Eric. Romantic feelings." Abby cut in before scoffing and punching his arm lightly, "I didn't come over and spoon you all night just cause we're buddies." Eric laughed softly, "Fair enough."He scratched the back of his reddening neck, the endearing flush on his face spreading as time went on, "So what now?"

"Well...do you like me? In that way?" Abby asked, somewhat awkwardly. She had always assumed he kind of did. What with Lisa proclaiming her the 'Queen of his Spank Bank' and all their tiptoeing around the few small kisses they had shared. But she had to be sure. She was thorough that way.

 _"Do I like you?"_ Eric looked incredulous and he leaned forward to grab one of the hands that she had curled on her knee, "Abby, you're my best friend. You're supportive and you challenge me, and you literally changed my life when you came to me to help your Mom. You're one of my favourite people in the world. Of course, I like you. I lo-I like you a lot."

Abby's face was as red as Eric's now though she was trying to hide her relieved smile. Clearing her suddenly very dry throat, "Okay then, that's good. Really good. I like you and you like me. That's like the essential part."

The boy gave the hand he was still clasping a sympathetic squeeze, "Abby, relax. So... what do you want to do about this? Anything? Nothing? I’m okay with both. Or neither. Up to you.” He asked and Abby took a steadying breath. This was Eric. Best friend Eric. Reliable Eric. Funny Eric. Saves-your-mother-and-blows-up-fracking-sites-with-you-Eric. And being a coward wasn’t her jam. Abby took a steadying breath and closed the small distance between them, covering his mouth with hers.

She felt the hand holding hers tighten ever so slightly before both relaxed into each other. Eric shifted towards her and Abby ended up holding onto his shoulder to avoid falling right into him. They pulled a hair's breadth apart and Eric pecked her lips twice more like he was making sure she was really there in front of him before they both leaned away from the other.

Eric licked his lips and scanned Abby's face, "That works for me."He cleared his throat quietly, "Do you-do you want to go on a date with me sometime-at some point?"

Abby smiled at him and nodded, "I would like that." He smiled back at her, his hands coming down to smack his knees. "Amazing! Wow. Okay. This is happening. I can't believe this is happening."

She laughed at his nervous energy and stood from the couch, watching as Eric's face fell, "Oh, should I leave? Are your parents gonna be home soon? I don't want Joel to think I have nefarious intentions."

Abby raised a solo eyebrow and offered him her hand, "Actually, my parents are out getting my Mom someone to eat." She pulled him up, not letting go of his hand quite yet, "They won't be home for _hours_ “. Eric's mouth fell open and he sputtered for a second, nervous laughter spilling out of him before his face fell into what she assumed was a practiced suave expression. "Shall we take this someplace more comfortable?"

Abby's eyes narrowed, lips pursed, and Eric back-pedalled, "I'm kid-I'm sorry I was only-" She took pity and leaned in, kissing him soundly before spinning on her heels and leading the way to her bedroom. “My bed is more comfortable than the couch."

By the time they heard the front door swing open and her parents' voices filter upstairs, the pair had done little more than make out. But even with their limited experience; they could both agree that they should have been doing this _the whole fucking time._ Kissing Eric was weird for a split second but once a girl got over the fact that she was swapping spit with her best friend in the world... _woah._

Abby had kissed people before. She had stuck her tongue in Michael Shum's mouth at his 15th birthday party during a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven and she and Hannah Dennis had made out at three house parties in a row last year but kissing a person she had actually pined over, whom she was really and completely emotionally invested in as a person was a different ballgame. She liked this a lot more.

She liked threading her hands through his hair, having his hands on her waist and in her curls and the way he brushed her boobs when she gave him the go ahead. Abby loved being so close she could count his freckles and hear him sigh when she kissed his throat and ran her hands over his chest. She _liked_ Eric. She _lov-_

Abby tore her lips off Eric's and took a deep breath, noting his gulp of air and his sea-glass eyes flitting over her flushed face. "We should stop before my parents find us and my Mom decides you'd be a good dessert for defiling her daughter."

Eric laughed though his face crumpled seconds later, his hands gripping Abby's thighs in panic, "You're fucking with me, right? Sheila wouldn't actually do that. She likes me too much. Your mom likes me too much to kill me, right?" She snorted and took his face in her hands, "Yes, Eric, my Mom likes you too much to ever kill you...My Dad on the other hand." The boy blanched and she swung her leg from over his hip to let him up, laughing all the while. "I'm kidding! They love you! You're their go-to guy." His anxious look dropped at that and he glared at her weakly. "All joking about eating me aside-"

"Jeez, take me on a date first, Eric."

"-Your parents' opinions are important to me." Abby's face scrunched up and he sighed, kneeling back down next to her on the bed. "I want them to be glad we're dating. Maybe besides the murder thing, they're great people and I'm glad they're in my life. I want them to feel that way about me as well."

Her expression softened and she shuffled closer to him, grabbing his hands in hers, "That's really sweet." That got a small smile and she rubbed her thumbs across his knuckles, "If it makes you feel any better when your Mom told them about us fake dating, they were really happy. They thought it was, and I quote, 'so cute'"

"Really?!"

"Yeah! Though if they walk in here and we're both shirtless they may change their minds."

Eric eyes snapped to her bra and then to his own naked torso...and then back to her bra until she called his name. "Right. Right! Shirts!" He clambered from the bed and scrambled over to the clothes they had tossed about an hour ago, passing her T-shirt over and roughly shoving his own back on.

Both now fully clothed, they stared at each other until Abby reached over to fix the hair that she had seriously messed up. "There. Like it never happened. We could have been studying this whole time." Abby was smug. It felt nice to have something to herself that didn't include C4 or bloodshed. Eric smiled at the look on her face and glanced at his watch, "Well, I'd better get back before my Mom comes looking for me. I'll-uh-I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nodded and quirked her lips into a small earnest smile, "Breakfast?" Her friend matched her smile and bobbed his head, "Breakfast. 100% I am there."

They stared at each other, processing the last few hours until Eric stepped forward and caught her lips again. He made her feel warm and tingly and when he pulled away she was the one chasing his lips.

"See you later, babe." His nose crinkled and he cocked his head, "Sweetie? No. Darlin'? Definitely not. Hot stuff? Y'know what? There'll time for that later."

"Good night, _Eric_."Abby shook her head at him as he ducked out of her bedroom, a stupid, silly smile on her face.

When she finally managed to stop grinning and had splashed some cold water on her flushed cheeks, she made her way downstairs. She didn't even have it in her to question the shifty way her parents were looking at each other and all she could do when her Mom asked her if she'd had a good day was smirk and say... 

_"Yep."_


End file.
